meditations

Hello there. Upon meditating today I found some answers to some questions I asked myself; I don't know if they are correct answers but I guess there the best I have. I should stop worrying about what has been and focus on what I want to be. The judgements of others against me should not worry me for its a sign of a petty mind to unfairly judge and condemn others. I have been, shamefully unemployed for nearly a year now; and I'm only sad about the lack of development I have had over that time. True; I have developed in that time however not to my fullest potential due to the lack of a structured environment.

Of course you could view my unfortunate unemployment as my own fault; but I have applied for 100's of jobs. Quite clearly I may have been doing something wrong, but I find it petty that others should overlook me and all my potential due to those errors.

I long for the days, but a fairytale to me, where a person could walk into a business, apply and be accepted for a job on his own merits there and then. Not only do we have to jump through ridicules hoops, reduce ourselves to two sides of A4 and slavishly boast and advertise ourselves at every given opportunity but to be treated with such contempt is undignified. To not even be told if we have the job, Assumed failure; I'm just sick of it.

I'm a graduate with strong skills, a hard working attitude, I'm studious and would give my all to any job offered and yet nobody seems to want me.

I guess there is a group of people somewhere who want me to stay unemployed. I guess it means less competition for them. If the UK really hates people working why does the UK allow such vast amounts of immigration? Is it that they want us to be poor and unhappy consumers and for foreigners to do all the work? I would be fine with this arrangement, pained and anguished at the loss of my own potential if it were not so cruel; I'm not just poor but our home is threatened; We can't afford to buy all the shit you want to sell and stay in our home. I so need to go out and develop my life, please help. Forgive us.